http://best-marriage-tips-d-g-m.blogspot.com/2013/06/when-couples-go-through-loss-of.html
We have so many couples that go through this loss. Miscarriage is really sad, and most likely understood only by those who have gone through it. A dear friend of mine asked me to write about this subject because she is having a hard time going through it. Miscarriage is the loss of pregnancy. Some people who have not gone through it might find it hard to understand why it is so sad, after all, the baby isn't born yet. But let me explain you how this whole thing is like, and why is it so hard to go through. When a couple finds out that they are pregnant, hope and joy burst into fireworks. The very first time a woman and a man are told they are becoming a mother and a father, hope fills up their hearts. Will the baby be a boy or a girls? What is he or she going to look like? What is his or her favorite hobby will be? Will she become a ballerina or he a doctor? I know it sounds crazy, but deep inside our hearts we have all kinds of hope. We also develop a reality about becoming parents. Miscarriage is the loss of all of the above. It's the mourn of our hopes and dreams, we mourn that motherly and fatherly love towards someone so perfect and special. But overall, we mourn the life that will never be. Both men and women mourn the miscarriage in a different way.
Women tend to blame themselves and their bodies for failing them with the most important task of being a woman: Giving life. For the mothers-not-to-be it is a heavy burden. Miscarriage is a loss. Sometimes getting pregnant after a miscarriage is specially hard.Even looking at other women pregnant gives them a jealous, why not me feeling Women often blame themselves for nor being able to keep their baby alive inside their womb. The loss of tenderness in their breast, the feather-like tickle inside is gone, the mid-night cravings are not longer there, and the most important thing, the life they were keeping alive has vanished. Man have a hard time as well. Most man appear to be stronger than their partners, even though inside, they also have to mourn thei loss. They will not hold their precious baby in their arms. They also have the extra burden of being strong for their partner. More than often, they have to be the strong pillar. Man will have to be there for their woman, who is very depressed. The miscarriage is particularly stronger if it was the loss of the first child. Some women who lost their first child might develop depression and it is always recommended to visit a physician to look over those symptoms, besides of course the OB/GYN. Some women who have had children already might find some solace in holding their kids. One symptom that is very common when a woman has had other kids is that she might become over-protective. She will feel that she must keep the other kids safe, because she understands how much harder it will be to loose one of them. Man feel the responsibility to carry on. To remind his partner how much he loves her and that even though it might feel like it is the end of the world, it really isn't. Man have loss a child too, so women must love them and understand that the loss is share. Loving each-other is the only way to keep on keeping on.
The mourning of miscarriage can not be forced out. It will take its course. It is hard to get over with. Some people around us that don't quite understand, they try to tell us to move on and bless their heart, try to motivate us to get over it. But it just won't work like that. The best thing when a miscarriage occurs is to find support. Facebook has several groups with people that are going through the same thing. It is good to be understood in that moment. The best way to go is to understand that your baby will always be your little angel.
For all those ANGEL MOMS and DADS remember:
1. A miscarriage is a loss for both mother and father, so be supportive to your partner.
2. Be honest about your feelings, hiding them will only bottled them up, and it can always explode in your face.
3. Nobody knows what the future will bring, but right now, love the blessings that you have, especially your partner.
To all those angel babies: Sleep tight, beautiful angels!
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Ps. The picture above is a product from little angels online store. Check out their link here:
http://www.littleangelsonlinestore.com/Store/proddetail.php?prod=195GEP-S
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