The Wedding is Over.... Now What?

Original Posting:
http://best-marriage-tips-marriage-love.blogspot.com/2013/06/something-that-lot-of-new-couples-is.html

         Something that a lot of new couples don't realize is that a wedding and a marriage are two completely different things. One is an event,  the other one is a journey. A wedding is time consuming, stressful, overwhelming, and totally worth it! All you need to understand is how this wedding thing works for boys and for girls. Little boys usually play with cars, trucks (can you blame them for having a Mustang, an RV, a bullet bike, and other toys?). Girls play since they are little about a wedding. I remember putting pillow cases over my head and pretending it was a veil, we would get all dress up and even use make-up. As you can see both boys and girls actually try to obtain and achieve whatever they dreamed of as a child.

As a little girl:

As a grown up:

As a little boy:

As a grown up: 

          As you can see both boys and girls try to achieve their hopes and dreams, and for some reason the whole wedding thing seems to be a bigger deal for girls than it is for boys. Sometimes there are exceptions to this rule, but most likely boys don't have their wedding planned since they are five years old. 

A wedding is an event that is carefully planned. It takes a lot of time and resources to plan a successful wedding. A wedding is something to look forward. But what happens after the wedding? After all the planning, running, spending, and stress is over with, what is there? Answer: A married life.

By no means we are saying that women should only do house work. It's just that  a woman becomes a wife, not a bride. Here are some other neat pics to make my example a little more clear.  

You gotta take that off that dress and that tuxedo someday! 

           About 27% of marriages break up soon after the wedding. It is even harder for people who have never lived with each other before. Although it is not a standard with some people and some cultures, people who have lived with each other before getting married have the upper hand. Some of the things to keep in mind when getting married is realizing that both individuals are actually going to share their life. My mother used to tell me: "You don't really get to know someone until you've lived with them." It is so true. By living together you notice some habits, routines, and preferences that you might have never realized before. 

Some people are used to dress up for dates and then, they realize that there are such things as morning breath, bed hair, smudged make-up, snoring, and even drooling. A dear lady we helped once told me: "Since we've been married my husband does not want to brush his teeth first thing in the morning, wants morning sex, and leaves everything he touches out of place, he even drops the clothes on the floor. I had no idea he was so messy."  It is not a rare thing to realize that living with another person entitles that, exactly living with another human being; another person with his or her own ideas, routines, rituals, and points of view.

For some men the same can happen. Some men have never seen their fiance without make-up. It has been known to happen that sometimes the husband is upset because on a lazy day his wife won't do her make-up, or do her hair. Things might start changing once the whole wedding and honeymoon are over and every one is back to reality. How can we survive those first days, months, and years?

              Here is a couple key points and bits of advice to ensure the survival of your new wonderful life that is marriage:

RESPECT- That is a key word in marriage. Learn that your new spouse has his or her own way of thinking and doing things. When you think of how imperfect your spouse or partner is, remember that he or she too has to deal with a mountain of imperfections that is you. 

COMMUNICATE- The foundation of a healthy marriage is communication, KIND communication that is. When you talk to your partner make sure he or she knows what you like, how you like it and be sure to ask the same thing from him or her. Remember that your spouse might not like the exact same thing, so find a happy medium.  Remember that your partner is not a mind reader. 

BE HELPFUL- Open a door for her, help her with the chores and give her a nice massage any where she needs it. Women usually multitask so help is always welcome. Be a gentleman, she will love it. And ladies, a nice back scratch and a massage for your hubby when he comes tired after work is greatly appreciated. If you both feel tired, you can just cuddle up and watch a movie, or have a sexy massage and see where things go from there.

BE FLIRTY- The fact that you are married does not mean that you don't have to be flirty. As a matter of fact it means that now you can be as flirty as you want! Stare into each others eyes, smile, and blow some kisses! Romance should not stop when you get married quite the opposite, it should get better and better. After all the biggest advantage you have with one sex partner who is your spouse is that you can feel the love. Another benefit is that you get to know what your spouse likes and he or she gets to know what you like. Don't be afraid of trying new things. No need to be guessing, and don't judge if your spouse wants to try something off the wall, now that your married you should both start sharing your deepest darkest fantasies. Remember a relationship requires some give and some take from both sides.

Some more things to remember:

- In some cultures, sexual relationships outside of marriage are extremely frowned upon. However couples that do have sex before marriage kind of have the upper hand. They will know for a fact that the grass isn't greener on the other side. They will  know that they have that sexual chemistry between their new spouse and them, rather than keeping the fingers crossed hoping that the chemistry is there.  For people who do wait once they are married they have their first sexual experience which to be honest can be awkward, frightening, exciting, and slightly painful if your careful or extremely painful if your not, but trust me it does get better.

- Don't be afraid to be yourself and talk about your fears and  hopes with your spouse. They are probably thinking the same thing. Also remember that just because now you can have sex, doesn't mean it is as easy as just shoving "it" in. You want your first night together as a married couple to be special. Take it slow, enjoy yourself, if you think you'll be the only nervous one in the room your mistaken. Your new spouse is just as nervous about the whole prospect of sex as you are. 

- After the honeymoon as your moving and combining all of your personal property remember that it has got to be a give and take thing. Girls, don't just take your furniture, decorations, and stuff and expect your new husband to have his clothes and either sell or throw away his stuff. You need to combine, compromise, and be willing to bend. Just because your used to your living room being decorated with animal print, flowers, and hello kitty, you have to remember your husband may be used to no decorations, besides the TV, a couple of beanbag/banana chairs and an X-BOX. 

             Finding a way to compromise will help strengthen  the bond that you two share. your home has to be a  sanctuary for  both of you, not a comfortable sanctuary for one and a foreign uncomfortable environment for the other. Remember you are both sharing and trying to turn a house/condo/apartment into a home for your new family.

Remember that even though the wedding is over a wonderful life together awaits.