http://best-marriage-tips-dv.blogspot.com/2013/06/red-flags-of-unhealthy-relationship.html
This article is for you to share, especially if you have teenagers. It is also a self exam to make sure your relationship stays healthy. Remember that it is still a good time to make any changes that need to be made. Our last piece is called "Healthy Relationships." If you feel that there are some things that are pointing at a red flag feel free to read "Healthy Relationships" and find those tips that will work for you.
Unhealthy relationships are based upon POWER, CONTROL, and INEQUALITY. Power and control thrives on intimidation, degrading comments, and violence. You can not control anybody but yourself. At the same time having total control over yourself is quite a victory. Nobody can have control over you, but yourself. Most episodes of aggression and abuse start over control itself.
Here are some of those red flags that will help you identify an unhealthy relationships.
1. Minimization and Blame This can include such things as:
- Not taking responsibility for your own actions.
- Blame anything that happens on your partner.
- Blame any accident that happens to you on your partner. Ie." I dropped that glass because you left it too close to the edge." When in reality it was an accident and maybe next time I can pay more attention.
2. Intimidation: It works by creating fear in the subject. It can include behaviors such as:
- Yelling or screaming.
- Using a threatening tone.
- Throwing objects at each other or at the floor.
- Breaking objects.
- Punching walls.
- Getting really close to the subject's face and invading personal space.
3. Domination: Treating your partner like a baby, property or servant.
- Like we said before, you can't control anybody but yourself. Same way nobody can control you but you.
- When we surrender control of ourselves we loose that free will to someone else.
- One big flag about domination is when the other person controls friends, job, facebook and emails, phone records, and asks for explanations to everything as if you had to render account for everything you do. This is done without reason.
- The dominant part wants to be served. He or she has a sense of entitlement.
4. Possessiveness: Using jealousy as a sign of love.
- Accusing his or her partner of cheating, or in the other hand, being accused of cheating constantly. Remember that trust is a key in a relationship.
- Controlling friends. No friends of the opposite sex allowed.
- Checking in over the phone very often with the only purpose of knowing what is he or she doing and mostly if he or she is cheating.
- Controlling who he or she talks to in facebook, on your phone, over emails, and even in person.
- Following around the spouse everywhere he or she goes.
- Listening to phone conversations.
- Going through email, facebook, chats, or phone records, often just to find out if his or her partner is cheating
Trust is an important key in a relationship. If you don't want your partner to be snooping around, he or she will have no reason to. Harassing a spouse is a crime. So be sure and keep everything honest.
5. Humiliation: Putting down your partner.
- Insulting your partner.
- Degrading your partner.
- Making fun of your partner.
- Making your partner feel stupid, especially in public.
6. Sexual Abuse: Some of the red flags can be:
- Bragging about your sexual relationship.
- Comparing your partner with former partners.
- Flirting with another person to make your partner jealous.
- Using drugs or alcohol to get sex.
-Pressuring your partner into something they do not want to do.
- You can also refer to our blog "No Excuse for Abuse" for more information about sexual abuse.
7. Physical Abuse: Some of the red flags can be:
- Holding your partner so they can't leave.
- Slamming your partner into the wall.
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