Original Posting:
We created this page with the hope to help in those hard times. We understand how hard is to even start talking about pregnancy loss and still birth. Most people don't understand why we mourn the loss of a life that will never become in this world. Here is a page you can share with your friends and family and everybody you want so they can understand what is going on and what are the best ways to help out. From our heart to yours!
*Listen and Understand*
Miscarriage is the loss of pregnancy, but the sadness is not only due to a physical loss. When a woman and a man find out that they are going to be parents hope fills their hearts. Hope for that baby to be healthy, for a healthy pregnancy, for a birth, they can imagine they baby in their arms,feeding their baby, playtime, teaching their child to walk, to talk, to read and write, seeing their child graduating from high school and even going to college and becoming a professional. All those dreams die when the pregnancy stops. It is a sudden loss. The reason I am telling you this is because you must understand how painful a miscarriage or a still birth can be. It is truly a loss and we mourn that loss. Often just being there to listen is great. Keep in mind that people going through this may feel guilty for dumping on you, or are afraid of not being understood. They may be afraid to upset you, and sometimes the pain is so hard to even start talking. Be supportive.
*Bring Food and Help Out*
When we went through this, and I would have to be at work all day. There were several times when I would get home and find a neighbor sitting on the couch talking with my wife with a meal on the table waiting for us. It was a great help. It doesn't need to be fancy. I know for us, we really didn't want to eat anyways. I ate because I knew that I had to. It took a while for us to want to eat again or enjoy it. I am the wife. I will always remember those sweet people who were eager to help. Be sure to help with the older kids. Sometimes the depression and sadness is so strong it is hard to jump back into everyday life.
*Give a hug*
What can I say, sometimes the best things are the simplest.
I remember the first time that my Dad saw my wife after the miscarriage, he just gave her a big hug and told her that if she needed any more, there were plenty more. He said that a friend had told him to just be quiet and give her a hug.
*Respect Boundaries*
Keep in mind that at this time, people will be far more touchy than usual. Unfortunatly, there is no easy answer as to where the boundary will be. Some people will need to talk and others will need to just carry on. All you can do is to be there for them and try to respond to what they need. Always let them know you care, and offer to help with anything they need. Thank you for caring. Deep inside our hearts we have imprinted the love of those who were there for us. I know any effort you make, even reading this page, will be highly appreciated.
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